Larry Flynt versus her nudity at a random Wendy’s drive thru. Or Courtney Love’s nudity in The People vs. It’s like the difference between Halle Berry’s nudity in Monster’s Ball versus her nudity in Swordfish. Going nude for a community or college theater show is quite different than stripping down in legitimate theatre. 5 | A performance Puppetry of the Penis, a college art show, or something of similar iffy prestige I only rank it this low because I always look at his photographs and think, “that looks like the world’s lamest orgy.” Plus, for whatever reason, everyone in his photos always looks like they’re freezing. It’s looked at as pure art - on the continuum of erotica to Hustler, it definitely checks in on the left side. If you’re not familiar, Spencer Tunick is a photographer who goes around and gets thousands of people in a city to volunteer to pose naked together. And be prepared for NBC to find a way to affix a camera to your genitals. But if they do, feel proud to show off the muscular male form for the world. I don’t know that the Olympics are ever going to go back to full-frontal like back in ancient Greece. (And you might even get points added for Gryffindor.) 3 | Greek Olympics When someone’s potentially viewing your dick in public through opera glasses and analyzing its symbolism, you’re golden. But you still will walk out of that room with a groin full of class.Ģ | A stage performance of a play like Equus or something of similar high prestige No one sitting in that art class is going to have a ninja turtle named after them.

You’re probably not going to be sculpted by a future master. Plus, the theory goes that it would’ve been bigger if it weren’t for the fact that all of the blood in David’s body had rushed to more crucial places before his battle with Goliath.Īnd look. It may not be the biggest, and it may not be the thickest, but it’s prestigious. There is no classier penis in the history of the world than the one on Michelangelo’s David. Not, mind you, by arrest-worthiness - though they somewhat go hand-in-hand. Here are 11 legitimate instances when penises are exposed in public, rated by classiness (from most to least classy). When I mentioned to my girlfriend I was working on this, she instinctively responded: “There’s *no* proper occasion to expose a dick in public.” 11 Scenarios Where Exposing Your Dick in Public is Acceptable While breasts are generally considered harmless, the penis is considered evil and makes Helen Lovejoy freak out about how no one’s thinking of the children. The world of exposing the penis is very different from the world of exposing the breasts. I always liked that list and, frankly, I’m surprised it took me this long to follow it up. This inspired me to write my list of the 11 Occasions To Expose Your Breasts In Public, Ranked By Classiness. Male nudity, to the point of exposing dick in public, *can* be classy, but it’s a fine line.īack in November of 2008 I went and saw a musical that featured some female toplessness.

Penis puppetry naked